Allowing others to live their lives is not always easy—especially if it's a child, close friend or loved one. It's even more challenging when we see that their choices may not be the best ones possible. So often it's easy for us as the observers to watch and see a pattern of mistakes repeated over and over again. We offer advice, opinions, suggestions about what to do differently next time. Much harder is it for us to accept when those we care about continue on a path of suffering instead of finding their way out.
Choice is a gift from God, a gift of Divine Freedom. Everyone has been given the gift of free will and choice. Some use this gift consciously, selectively choosing from the smorgasbord of options in life with awareness, grace and care. Others dive in with reckless abandonment, feasting on only those options that provide the greatest pleasures and gratifications. And some eat only whatever they see directly in front of them and then question the lack of variety or possibilities available.
Whether we live our lives consciously or not, choice is a Divine Birthright that is bestowed upon every single soul when it comes through the birth canal and into the brightness of the world. Choice is something that no one can take from you. It has been reported that survivors of some of the world's greatest tragedies stated that their key to staying alive was finding something they had a choice about every day—no matter how small it seemed. Divine Choice lends itself to Divine Empowerment.
As part of this freedom of choice, you are in control of choosing your thoughts, emotions, behaviors and decisions. No one makes you do anything you don't want to do. You may feel obligations to say “yes” when you really want to say “no”, but it is still within your Divine Right to say “no” if you really don't want to do something. When you begin to realize that you are the cause and everything that manifests in your life is the effect, you begin to live a life of pure Divine Freedom. For many, this may be a brand new way of thinking, especially if the belief has been that one's life is the result of forces happening all around.
Just as we individually have our own freedom of choice, so does everyone around us. A poignant example of this can be found in Step One from Al-Anon*, a program for families and friends of those suffering from alcoholism.
The “3 Cs” in Al-Anon
- I did not cause it (alcoholism)
- I cannot control it
- I cannot cure it
These tenets apply not only to those working through addictions, but can be applied to any choice that others make in life—specifically those choices that may be unhealthy, self-destructive, and/or lead to some form of suffering. When we see others we care about in less-than-ideal situations, relationships, environments, etc., all we can do is be supportive and give them the space to renegotiate a new choice that is better, that serves their higher purpose. While we may feel bad or have feelings of guilt for the suffering that loved one is going through, we must remember that: we did not cause their situation, we cannot control the choices they make, and we cannot cure their patterns of unhealthy behavior. Everyone has a choice. And, it is up to each one to decide that they want a new, a better, an easier life than the one the have through the choices they currently have made. Holding on to unhealthy patterns is a decision and a choice to continue to suffer. How does one stop the suffering? It happens the moment one decides to change.
* From How Al-Anon Works – page 46 (copyright 1995, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)
Pranic Healing Northern California, in affiliation with U.S. Pranic Healing Center | pranichealing.ncalif@gmail.com
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